Does your child know they are on Social Media?

More than 80% of 2 year old children have an online presence 
This figure is shocking isn’t it? I was shocked but not surprised to be honest.

This is going to be a controversial post and I am writing it fully aware that many readers out there will disagree with me. I do not want to offend people but I’m offering my views to the world. Take them or leave them. Debate with me. Let’s discuss….

I see myself as lucky. I have 2 brilliant children who are growing up to be brilliant adults. I also see myself as lucky as my children were born before social media really took off. I did not take millions of photos on my phone when they were babies and toddlers as I couldn’t. I took photos on a camera every now and then to document how they had changed or when we were on holiday. I enjoyed seeing them grow and change and I cherish these photos now as I can look back and smile at what they did and how they were. I sometimes wish I had taken more photos but do I wish I’d shared more on Social media? No I don’t and here’s why.

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Does your child know they are on Social Media?

As you share that cute picture of your little one covered in chocolate from their first pudding, think this…..who will see this image? Why am I posting this image? Can this image be shared? and most importantly, will my child want this image to be shared? In a modern world shaped by our online presence, will your child welcome this image online forever? That’s the real question isn’t it? Will my adult child want this image of themselves online forever? Because we all know that online posts create a digital footprint that can last beyond a lifetime.

As our children grow, they are brought up in a household with a set of values and beliefs that shape that family. It may be as simple as the children wearing a particular football shirt or it may be about religious/political beliefs. A child has no say in this but as he or she grows up, those values are embedded within them and are carried forward into adulthood. Those values, together with other cultural and social experiences, become part of the mindset of that adult. As adults, we expect to be able to raise our children in the way we see fit. I agree with this entirely however I believe that by putting images of children online for all the world to see, we are taking away their ability to grow and change in private. A 6-year-old child may want their image online of them in a Christmas jumper because they relish the attention they get from it. Ask that same child at 13 and I can guarantee that they wouldn’t want to be on one of those laugh, click-through sites in their Christmas jumper! By creating an online presence for your child have you not crossed the line from being a responsible parent to invading your child’s right to privacy?

This is a subject where the consequences are unknown as those first children who had their entire childhood documented online are not quite adults. Yet, this is happening now and as an Early Years educator I have noticed a real difference in parents today when compared with parents only 5-10 years ago. Many, many parents stop their child and document everything. And I mean, everything. Their child’s first day at school, that dress up day photo to show Grandma, ‘smile…oh look you have lost your first tooth!’ I see parents taking photos of their children and children posing with their hands on their hips saying,  -‘is this cute?’ I hear children talking about putting that on Facebook at aged 6. It’s a little crazy. It’s almost as if the fun of the event is overshadowed by the chance to get the perfect shot to put on Instagram. Lets play perfect life when in fact, you’re missing that part of your life by trying to record it!

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Does your child know they are on Social Media?

I understand why people post pictures of their children online. I have done this too. In fact, I did this when my children were younger without thinking too much about it but now, I rarely share their images as they would prefer that I didn’t. There is a reason why there aren’t many photos of me aged 13 with that stupid hair cut! Thank goodness that was never shared online! Perhaps sharing family pictures to your friends and family is the only time to connect, especially with families living far away from each other. I understand that too because that is my situation. But is it right? Should we be asking our children’s permission to post things online? I think from an early age, that is exactly what we should be doing. Or at least asking children how they feel about it. Giving them the choice or perhaps be the adult here and hold back until they are old enough to decide for themselves?

I think when our children are born or when they are tiny, we don’t quite get that they are people. That they are their own self, even from birth. As parents, creating an identity for them online is not our job. It is our job to nurture them and keep them safe. It is our job to help them become responsible, happy and fulfilled adults. Can we be sure that we are doing that when we are not respecting their privacy?

Interestingly the government have been debating this too in a new Data Protection Bill which you can read about
here

I wonder if this new bill will help in protecting a child’s right to online privacy?

If that is the case perhaps you should consider the legalities of posting that photo. It just may land you in court one day when your adult child objects to the photo you innocently shared today. Just a thought.

Perhaps you have never considered this at all. Perhaps you have and still post pictures online because you disagree with me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

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Reflectionsfromme
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#MyGloriousGardens October Round Up Post. Grab a coffee for a great read!

Here we are and I’m a little late with my round-up post as I’m recovering from flu. Like, proper flu so am wrapped up in bed with my laptop whilst I write this! After a week off work I’m feeling a bit better so thought I’d better get around to the blog!
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Anyway…moving along to the October Link Party…..
We had 14 linkers which is not as many as last month but heh? I’m sick right? so I’m ok with that! Thank you to everyone who did link up and comment on the other blogs.I’ve added a few lovely photos too…..love a great photo.

I’ve also gone back to using names if possible as it’s just so much nicer, don’t you think?

Karen

Karen is a regular linker over at thenextbestthingtomummy and linked a lovely post about collecting Autumn treasures with her little charges. As an Early Years teacher myself, I love getting outside with children and showing them the amazing things that nature holds. Thank you Karen. Do check out my Pinterest pages as I have loads of Early Years things that may interest you.

Paul

Hello again to Paul who also linked up last month. This month, Paul takes us to Tredegar House near Newport. I agree with Paul in that visiting gardens is a great way to inspire our own gardening and is one of the reasons I started this linky! I love the way he has gathered his own thoughts about the garden into useful ideas for our own gardens. Thank you so much Paul.

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Are you ready for a read of a few lovely blogs??

Sarah

Hello to Sarah; a new linker. What an uplifting post about the bulbs she has in containers in her garden. As she is in Southern Australia it is Spring there so it is so lovely to see her blooms whilst we are preparing for Winter here. The colours and underplanting she uses are truly inspiring. Do check out her wonderful website; I especially love the posts about her own garden. Wonderful.

Jane

Lovely Jane. How are you? Another linker from the Southern Hemisphere…we need your light and flowers here in the UK as it’s so dark today! In Jane’s post she delights us with Hybrid Musk roses and there are so many to choose from. I especially like the sound of ‘Cornelia’. As you know, I’m on the look out for some new roses to plant in the Spring so thank you for these ideas.

Brigid

Brigid has a new camera and in this lovely post,she shares some of her photos with us of her garden in September. Thank you Brigid for being a regular linker. I love seeing how your garden changes over the seasons. Do go and take a look at Brigid’s site. It’s a wonderful place to sit, read and stop a while over a coffee.

Gill

Hello again Gill….lovely to see you linking up. Gill shares a fun post about the mystery of who has been getting in the new orchard….great fun post. Do go over and read for yourself. I wonder if Gill did get to find the culprits!

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Here’sa wonderful Autumn canopy shot I took at the beginning of October to keep you interested!

Joshua

A lovely post about how Joshua will be preparing for the Spring this Autumn. He talks about the bulbs he will be planting and I agree with his choices; alliums. I love the showiness of alliums. Thank you Joshua for linking up again this month. I love seeing what you are up to in your garden.

Craig

Any post about food is ok with me! This is a great post by Craig about harvesting blackberries with his gorgeous dog, Mollie for company. Autumn gives us such wonders doesn’t it? I love blackberry picking don’t you? I think it’s just part of our country heritage in a way. I wonder what you made with all those blackberries, Craig? Yum!

Craig also posted about his trip to The Sussex Prairie garden using his RHS membership. I must admit, I haven’t heard of this garden so all the more reason to read this post! This is a must post if you love visiting gardens.

John

Great to see you linking this month, John. Six on Saturday is a great thing to get involved with other fellow garden bloggers. It’s a way of sharing 6 things that are happening in your garden at that moment on a Saturday and was started by The Propagator. It’s a fun thing to be involved in so thank you, John for linking your post.

Ann

Hello to lovely Ann, so glad to see you this month. I love this post about decorating pumpkins. I’m very into looking at flat lays on Instagram at the moment and so using mini pumpkins is key! Getting crafty with pumpkins and other Autumn harvest produce is such a great way to get children involved too. Thank you Ann for linking this.

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A gorgeous pumpkin flat lay for you……love these type of shots……

Thomas

Lastly, we have a post by Thomas. Good to see you here again, Thomas. Thomas linked a post about using a Wrist support whilst gardening. It’s true that many of us gardeners do not think about the overuse injuries that may occur when gardening. Thank you for linking Thomas.

Well there we have it! The October Round up post for #MyGloriousGardens.

Round-Up Post

My Random Musings

Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads.

A Guest Post by Claire Adams

I was approached by a fellow blogger and writer, Claire to see if she could write a post for me. Claire is personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. You can find her online writing and giving tips about lifestyle and development as a regular contributor at highstylife.com.

I am thrilled to introduce Claire’s post for my readers and hope you love it as much as I do!

Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads

We live in the age of the Internet, parenting books, chat rooms, classes, information wells only a few clicks away, but as disturbingly contradictory or simply different as some of it may be, new parents and parents-to-be yearn for knowledge. And it makes sense – your thirst is driven by the desire to be the best parent you could possibly be, without sacrificing your relationships or neglecting your professional development.

However, few things related to parenting are black and white. It’s a beautiful journey, the adventure of being a parent, but it makes for a stressful one on those who decide to embark on it in this day and age. And as such, you could use some real-life advice from moms and dads who’ve been in your shoes and can help you prepare and enjoy as much as possible.

Let go of perfectionism

Whether it’s a messy t-shirt, a room filled with toys, or the fact that you’re wearing a puke-covered hoodie after 36 sleepless hours – you soon realize that the reality of parenting doesn’t even resemble those dreamy ideals. On the contrary, your baby will disrupt your lives beyond recognition, both in marvelous and less marvelous ways.

Your priorities will change, and so will your sleeping schedule, and the notion of what passes for “presentable” will alter. As they grow up, you will also realize that “she will never throw tantrums in public” or “he will never get hooked on watching TV” are also far-fetched, as every child has their own way of perceiving the world. The best thing you can do for your child’s peace of mind, as well as your own, is to abandon any perfectionist notion you’ve had thus far.

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Go with Frank

Mr. Frank Sinatra has spoken many a wise word through his music, but one universal truth that affects parents as much as it does every other aspect of your identity would be simply doing things your own way. That doesn’t mean rejecting any piece of advice you hear (solicited or otherwise), but still being able to have your own opinion in the chaos of other parents’ voices.

Every child is different, and while one parent will successfully potty-train their youngster with the help of training-pants, another might prefer to try a reward system. This extends to all behavioral patterns in life, so listening to others can sometimes point you in the right direction, while sharpening your own parenting “gut feeling” is equally important. No parent knows you own child like you do.

Go with Frank

Finance wisely

On a more practical, forward-thinking note, parenting could use some financial structure that will ensure your own, as well as your children’s security later in life. While a majority of employers often carry a family friendly health plan that includes various types of insurance, new parents could also think about writing their will, and a college fund that can be re-purposed if needed.

Keeping an eye on your retirement policy and other related plans for the future may seem over the top while you have a baby to care for, but the sooner you reach for the reins, the safer you’ll be if any problems crop up. The same goes for choosing the right guardian for your kids and setting up a contingent trust that allows you a reasonable amount of control over the funds when your kids finally come of age.

Finance wisely

Invest ahead

Some kids learn fairly quickly and adapt easily to new environments, both socially and cognitively, while others struggle with different challenges. As parents, we can sometimes be prone to misjudging our kids’ abilities, either perceiving them as flawless, or underestimating their potential. In both scenarios, it may seem impossible to relinquish some of our parental power over to teachers, psychologists and other professionals, but it could be necessary for the sake of their success later in life.

Sometimes that means tackling a speech impediment early on, or ensuring tailored high school tutoring for improving their performance in those subjects that are particularly problematic. Either way, there is no shame in recognizing a problem and handling it with the help of professionals.

Invest ahead (2)

Don’t forget you

As soon as you become a parent, your children occupy almost your every thought. At first, this may serve as a mechanism to adapt to your new role as a parent, or anticipate and solve problems along the way. But if you continue neglecting your own needs, and pushing aside your identity, your parenting enthusiasm will also dwindle.

New moms and dads should work on learning to remember their preferences, nurturing their relationship and tending to their needs. As Elizabeth Silk, a New York psychotherapist working with moms put it wisely: “The happier you are, the better parent you will be.”

Adams, Claire 2017

Guest Post by Claire Adams

Mission Mindfulness
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#MyGloriousGardens October Link Party!

Can you believe it? It’s flown into October and I’m even a little late with the Link party this month! It’s been a busy, busy month with full-time work, kids, garden………etc etc

However enough of me! Let’s get linking….

Some Guidance for all your lovely linkers!

If are a new linker, the rules are simple…..just click on the blue link up button at the bottom of this screen and it will take you to a new page where you can copy and paste your posts.

Please add the #MyGloriousGardens button to your post -you can find it in my sidebar (widget). This helps me track who has been reading the other bloggers posts.

Tweet me @oldhouseinthes1 for a retweet. Retweet any posts you really love using the same hastag.

Spread the linky love by commenting on some of the other bloggers posts, including mine please. Please don’t link and run! It’s not what this party is all about. As a guide, try to comment on the post directly before your and one of the hosts post as a minimum.

I will comment on every post linked up and share on all my social media sites. I will put all posts on Stumbleupon as well as Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook -do check out my pages. I always post a round up post after the link party has closed so that you get further traffic from that. What’s not to love!?

Design

Six on Saturday

Six on Saturday is when you share six plants or things that are happening in your gardening and was started by The Propagator

I haven’t joined in before but after lots of bulb planting today, moving some perennials and sorting out the Greenhouse, I managed to take some good photographs that I am happy with.

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David Austin ‘The Generous Gardener’

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Nasturtiums

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Japanese Anemones

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Cyclamens under the old cherry tree

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Purple Asters

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Salvia Amistad

We enjoyed a cloudy yet mild day today in Wiltshire but there is a storm coming tonight so I’m not looking forward to that!

Happy Saturday everyone!

Tips for New Bloggers: Link Parties and which to join.

Link Parties are a great way to help your blog grow. A link party is a place to post your new blog post and read other posts in return. They are hosted by various bloggers and there are lots to choose from. I have a monthly garden one called #MyGloriousGardens.

Calling all Bloggers- Which Link Parties to join 2017

I love joining Linkies. It’s definitely helped me to ‘meet’ new bloggers but also helps your new blog posts to be exposed to more readers. You also ‘get to know’ other bloggers within the community which is also a way to expose your content to new readers as they will often retweet or reblog a great post for you.

Here are my top link parties that I regularly join.

Monday

Reflections From Me

Mummy Times Two
One Messy Mama
Two Tiny Hands

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All Mum Said
My Random Musings
Pink Pear Bear
Tuesday
3 Little Buttons
Mummascribbles
The Tactical Mummy

Mother of Teenagers

Wednesday
Run Jump Scrap
My Random Musings

ethannevelyn.com
Real Mum Reviews
The Pramshed
Potty Adventures
Thursday

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Mummuddlingthrough
Suitcases and Sandcastles
Friday

ethannevelyn.com
Life Love and Dirty Dishes
Post Comment Love

Lucy At Home

Twin Mummy and Daddy
Saturday
Mission Mindfulness
Sunday
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Monthly link Parties
Oldhouseintheshires
This is my Linky and it runs from the 1st of each month and is dedicated to Gardens/Garden reviews/Garden products/outdoor posts. At the end of the month, I post a roundup post of all the entries.
I’m sure there are many more but these are the ones I regularly post to.
I hope you have found this post useful.

#MyGloriousGardens September Link-up Party!

Design

It’s time for the #MyGloriousGardens September Link up Party!

This is a link party for any posts about being outside, gardens, gardens you may have visited, garden product reviews, days out with you family to a place with a beautiful garden, summer garden posts….basically anything garden related!

The summer hollibobs are coming to an end and the children (and their teachers) are returning to school. I never know where the time goes in the summer holidays! It seems to have whizzed by!

I have visited lots of beautiful gardens in August but I have never been to anywhere as beautiful as Seville! I hope you will enjoy my post. I have also linked up a post about the jobs I plan to do this Autumn.

I can’t wait to read all your amazing posts! So get linking peeps!

Some Guidance for all your lovely linkers!

If are a new linker, the rules are simple…..just click on the blue link up button at the bottom of this screen and it will take you to a new page where you can copy and paste your posts.

If you would like, add the #MyGloriousGardens button to your post -you can find it in my sidebar (widget).

Tweet me @oldhouseinthes1 for a retweet. Retweet any posts you really love.

Spread the linky love by commenting on some of the other bloggers posts, including mine please. Please don’t link and run! It’s not what this party is all about. As a guide, try to comment on the post directly before your and one of the hosts post as a minimum.

I will comment on every post linked up and share on all my social media sites. I have discovered Sumbleupon this month and its directing LOADS of traffic my way! I will put all posts on Stumbleupon as well as Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook -do check out my pages. I always post a round up post after the link party has closed so that you get further traffic from that. What’s not to love!?

Blogger Recognition Award numbers 2, 3 and 4!

I have been nominated three times this week for the Bloggers Recognition Award by the lovely Cherylene over at Living Vs existing,by the equally lovely Roda over at Growing self

Lastly I was also nominated by Catie over at Diary of an imperfect mum

Do go and check out their blogs if you haven’t already found them.

The Blogger Recognition Award is one that fellow bloggers can award each other to spread the blogger love and to acknowledge other bloggers. It’s also a great way to read other blogs and to find new readers for your own blog! Some bloggers prefer not to join in and that’s ok! I always do because it’s all for fun.

The Rules

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  • Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  • Select 10 other bloggers you want to give this award to.
  • Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them and provide the link to the post you created.

Oldhouseintheshires

I started this blog 9 months ago to document the changes that we had planned for the oldhouse. It quickly evolved into a parenting/educational/garden blog! I tend to blog about things I enjoy and it’s a lovely hobby. I am a teacher and work with Primary aged children in Wiltshire. In 9 months I have learnt so much and “met” so many lovely bloggers’ there is a great community out there!

My advice to new bloggers.

I have written about this here:

Advice to new bloggers

Am I an inbetween blogger?

My nominees are (in no particular order!)

1.Momdeavor

2.Mummybearbaker

3. Lucyathome

4. Motherofteenagers

5. Katiewritesblog

6. Unrewardedgeniuses

7. Rachelmcclary

8. The travellingdiaryofadippydottygirl

9. I am river

10. Vintagefeminist

Have fun!

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#MyGloriousGardens August Round-Up

Here is the August round-up post. I really can’t believe it! Where does the time go??

This month we had 21 link ups so that is amazing!! Thank you to everyone for helping to grow our community and welcome to our new linkers!

I don’t have favourites but I tend to comment on each post. I also share each post on my Facebook page and Tweet on Twitter.  I hope you are getting more views to your posts from this increased exposure.

A polite reminder that you do need to comment on other posts please. The minimum is one of my posts and the one post before yours. Don’t link and run as that is not what this community is all about! If you end your comment with #MyGloriousGardens then I can see immediately who has commented. Thank you. I have also decided to round-up using our names so that we can begin to speak to the person behind the blog!
Here’s the Round-Up

JOHN

John has linked 2 posts this week. The first is definitely a must for new bloggers; a directory of all garden blogs. This is so useful and it is how I found some of my blogging friends. If you are not on this list, you can contact John and he will add you.

The second post was John’s personal garden round-up. I love these posts as I am basically nosey! I like to see what other gardeners are up to!

RACHEL

Rachel posted a great post about her children enjoying a ‘Mud Kitchen’ outside in her garden. I am an Early Years teacher as well as a lover of the outside so this post really appealed to my playful side! I love the mud kitchen ideas that encourage children to explore their world in a different way -Bake Off using mud! Glorious!

MAINY

I loved Mainy’s post about how to use a pallet to create a vegetable garden. This would appeal to so many different people but is especially great for people with a very limited space. A simple yet easy idea and a project that you could do in a day. Thank you for posting Mainy! Check out Mainy’s linky too -it’s a one off linky for the summer.

BRIGID

Brigid is a regular linker so hello Brigid! Thank you for linking 3 posts this month. If have never read any of Brigid’s posts, my favourite was the one you are taken to when you click on her name above. Brigid will often review a garden that she has visited as I often do. The posts linked this month are stunning and I shall add them to my list of places to visit! The last post is the round-up of her own garden in May. Thank you again Brigid!

SARAH

Sarah is a new linker so thank you for joining us Sarah! Sarah’s post was about her own experiences and the effects of a garden and being outside on a person’s health. I so agree with this in every way. I am a Forest School Practitioner and have seen how being outside can be calming yet invigorating for young people. It helps to put the ‘in the moment’ where they can forget about everything else and forget the stresses of everyday life. A lovely, lovely post.

ANN

Ann has linked before and always has posts that are both helpful and informative. This month’s post reminded us that we can plant vertically as well as in the ground and she had some great ideas that would suit any garden. One idea I loved was the little baskets that can be hung from a wall or would equally work on a balcony or conservatory. Thank you Ann for linking this post.

DEBORAH

I love a bit of Whimsy in a garden! I have old chimney pots full of flowers and a tin bath with my bedding in it so this post about using an old chair as a planter was right up my street! It is a very easy project and could be adapted in any garden. Thank you Deborah for joining us this month.

HELENA

Helena is another new linker -hello! Helena has a crafty, lifestyle, parenting blog and linked a super post about creating stone ladybirds for the garden. I love to include little ones in gardening. These are super cute and easy to make! In fact, it reminded me of painting stones with nail polish when mine were young! So lovely to keep too.

NOLEEN

Hello to Noleen; a new linker from Cape Town. Noleen’s post was about how to create a herb garden over a weekend. Her husband made her a herb box using an old pallet which looked amazing! I also loved her photographs of her trip to the local garden centre; it looked very much like my local one her in the UK. Her daughters helped her to plant it up and voila! It looked great. Thanks again Noleen.

JOSHUA

Joshua linked 2 posts this month and both included his cute little girl! I love that Joshua is blogging about gardening but everything he does has a link back to wildlife, hence the title of his blog. His second post talks about his new favourite gardening tool called a ‘Hori Hori Knife’ and how it basically does everything! It looks amazing; I may have to get one. Thank you also to Joshua for writing a link back post about this linky. That was very kind of you!

KAREN

Karen wasn’t sure whether to link her post about helping to bathe her horse from her wheelchair but I think it’s a lovely post and you are very welcome Karen. The love of horses never leaves you I don’t think. I’m not sure I could have washed this massive horse sitting down though! Thank you Karen and hope to see you again.

MICHELLE

Michelle found me but we actually live very close to one another in Wiltshire! How funny this internet malarky is! I love Michelle’s post about finding a frog in her garden. We have hundreds of tiny frogs in the old house garden but I didn’t know that they take 2 years before they breed -thanks Michelle! Lovely wildlife post. Thank you for linking.

THOMAS

Thomas is a professional  horticulturist and gardener from Hampshire. He has rather a lot of expertise so his post, about how to prune our roses, is very welcome! As a newish gardener I can never remember which part to leave and which part to prune. Thank you to Thomas for linking this informative post. Do pop over to his blog. I also learnt about sawfly larvae by reading his blog.

JANE

Jane is a regular linker but funnily enough also linked a post about pruning roses. The only difference is that Jane lives in Australia so is pruning in the Southern Hemisphere! Interesting to see the differences and similarities with the post Thomas posted. Jane offers great advice; she really knows her roses as she has so many in her beautiful garden!

Design

Thank you again for linking up for the August #MyGloriousGardens Link party. I have really enjoyed reading all of your posts.

Sophie

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100 Posts

This is my 100th post!

 

My Random Musings

Blogging Block

I have Blogging Block.

After a break from blogging and apart from writing about that amazing break, I’m a bit stuck….I think this is normal but I’m never quiet…it’s just not me! I think being away from my blog has helped me realise that well, it’s taken over my life just a teeny bit??Maybe having Bloggers Block is a good thing?

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What to write??

Apparently I need to write a post like…

“10 ways to cure your Blogging Writers Block.”

or

“How to overcome writers block when blogging in 5 easy steps.”

It’s good for SEO apparently.

So……..here are my 5 easy steps to curing my blogging Block.

1. Get a coffee.

2. Tit about on social media for a bit.

3. Read that book that has been lying by your bed for months whilst you have been blogging.

4. Talk to your family.

5. Resume normal life.

Voila!

I hope that my Bloggers Block is not terminal. I’m off into my garden for a bit…..

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Any advice fellow bloggers?

One Messy Mama
My Random Musings