Letting go of the challenges of parenting.

Being a parent can be hard. It’s exhausting, relentless and it can be, dare I say, boring. Although being a parent is wonderful most of the time, I think every parent at some time or another has wished for a sunny beach, peace, quiet and preferably a margarita in hand! But I’ll tell you a little secret that parents of little ones don’t know or even have time to think about….it does change and get easier; almost overnight and then you will miss those challenges with all your heart. The hurdles that we face as parents are only stages in our lives and we need to let them go to fully appreciate the parenting journey. Because of course, a journey always has its ups and downs.

I vividly remember my son going through ‘the yelling phase.’ Basically, he yelled in the night when he wanted something! It could be a drink, a biscuit,  a cuddle, a story, a banana (yes, really!) a new toy….just anything so that he could get our attention. The thing was totally irrelevant but because we had another child that we were frightened would wake up, we tended to go into his room as quickly as possible. This meant one of us was ‘on stand by’ throughout the night and we were exhausted. Of course, we could have left him to cry and yell but for an easier life and because we were not entirely sure he was awake half the time, we got up and went to him. He was only about 2 after all. This became part of my night time thing and I used to dread it. I remember thinking that I couldn’t possibly be this tired and still function. It was awful. And then, one night, it stopped. He slept through without the yelling! Could we be this lucky and have a whole nights sleep? He never yelled out in the night again and this phase in our parenting journey was over, just like that.

When my daughter was about 6 she would not want to go to sleep. We tried the usual stories, milk, teeth, bed routine that had always worked. We tried extra cuddles, we tried rewarding her with a sticker chart and we tried telling her off. Nothing seemed to work. There would always be a reason for her coming down….’ur I can’t sleep….I need a drink….mummy can I just tell you something……ur can I have a grape?’ The ‘Can I have a grape?’ became a family joke but this stage went on for about a year. Yes, a whole year of her coming down in the late evening as she couldn’t get to sleep. Then one night,  it stopped. As quickly as it began, it was over.

I think what I’m trying to say is that the challenges you are facing right now will soon be done. The ‘problem’ that exhausts you or makes you despair will one day be over. Whether it be a fussy toddler that makes you cry with frustration because they will only wear red or the child who lives off fresh air because they never seem to eat a meal. Whether it be the child who refuses to sleep in their own bed or the child that will not settle in the morning at school. These are all challenges at the time but one day, they will stop and life moves on. Children grow and change whilst us parents try to adapt to the changing direction that parenting takes us.

So when your son asks you not to get stressed when he accidently breaks the window of your Greenhouse by launching a hockey ball down the garden, pause, take a breath and smile. He doesn’t remember the 3 DS games, the new Hoover, the car radio or the countless TV remotes that he broke as a destructive toddler. Those were our challenges as parents so let them go and move on. One day, I shall remind him of the Greenhouse window and hope it will become a family story to remember and retell rather than a challenge to overcome.

How did this craft teacher and plant lover get more than 100,000 Instagram followers?

I love this! This is a great post.
I’m reblogging this as I absolutely love flat lay pictures. They are so pretty.
Enjoy!

Michael Perry - Mr Plant Geek

“What do you think might be on the average person’s list of favourite things? Avocado toast? A phalanx of likes on the facebook? Their cat? Sounds legit. Well it seems that seeping into the subconscious of a truckload of folk right now are… plants. ‘Pffff’ some might say ‘you can stick your cotoneaster down your cropped trouser leg, botany is well dull’. WELL, read on, cos it ain’t…”

Emma Mitchell is a well-known Instagrammer… Although, she is incredibly modest, despite having a following that get her a free Range Rover (probably..) Emma has been sweet enough to guest blog here on the Mr Plant Geek website, and tells us why plants are big right now..

“A couple of years ago my IG (that’s what us wannabe millenials call Instagram) was mostly pictures of our dog wearing fairy wings and an occasional suggestive parsnip from up the farm shop. I teach…

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Does your child know they are on Social Media?

More than 80% of 2 year old children have an online presence 
This figure is shocking isn’t it? I was shocked but not surprised to be honest.

This is going to be a controversial post and I am writing it fully aware that many readers out there will disagree with me. I do not want to offend people but I’m offering my views to the world. Take them or leave them. Debate with me. Let’s discuss….

I see myself as lucky. I have 2 brilliant children who are growing up to be brilliant adults. I also see myself as lucky as my children were born before social media really took off. I did not take millions of photos on my phone when they were babies and toddlers as I couldn’t. I took photos on a camera every now and then to document how they had changed or when we were on holiday. I enjoyed seeing them grow and change and I cherish these photos now as I can look back and smile at what they did and how they were. I sometimes wish I had taken more photos but do I wish I’d shared more on Social media? No I don’t and here’s why.

Does your child know they are on Social Media?

As you share that cute picture of your little one covered in chocolate from their first pudding, think this…..who will see this image? Why am I posting this image? Can this image be shared? and most importantly, will my child want this image to be shared? In a modern world shaped by our online presence, will your child welcome this image online forever? That’s the real question isn’t it? Will my adult child want this image of themselves online forever? Because we all know that online posts create a digital footprint that can last beyond a lifetime.

As our children grow, they are brought up in a household with a set of values and beliefs that shape that family. It may be as simple as the children wearing a particular football shirt or it may be about religious/political beliefs. A child has no say in this but as he or she grows up, those values are embedded within them and are carried forward into adulthood. Those values, together with other cultural and social experiences, become part of the mindset of that adult. As adults, we expect to be able to raise our children in the way we see fit. I agree with this entirely however I believe that by putting images of children online for all the world to see, we are taking away their ability to grow and change in private. A 6-year-old child may want their image online of them in a Christmas jumper because they relish the attention they get from it. Ask that same child at 13 and I can guarantee that they wouldn’t want to be on one of those laugh, click-through sites in their Christmas jumper! By creating an online presence for your child have you not crossed the line from being a responsible parent to invading your child’s right to privacy?

This is a subject where the consequences are unknown as those first children who had their entire childhood documented online are not quite adults. Yet, this is happening now and as an Early Years educator I have noticed a real difference in parents today when compared with parents only 5-10 years ago. Many, many parents stop their child and document everything. And I mean, everything. Their child’s first day at school, that dress up day photo to show Grandma, ‘smile…oh look you have lost your first tooth!’ I see parents taking photos of their children and children posing with their hands on their hips saying,  -‘is this cute?’ I hear children talking about putting that on Facebook at aged 6. It’s a little crazy. It’s almost as if the fun of the event is overshadowed by the chance to get the perfect shot to put on Instagram. Lets play perfect life when in fact, you’re missing that part of your life by trying to record it!

Does your child know they are on Social Media?

I understand why people post pictures of their children online. I have done this too. In fact, I did this when my children were younger without thinking too much about it but now, I rarely share their images as they would prefer that I didn’t. There is a reason why there aren’t many photos of me aged 13 with that stupid hair cut! Thank goodness that was never shared online! Perhaps sharing family pictures to your friends and family is the only time to connect, especially with families living far away from each other. I understand that too because that is my situation. But is it right? Should we be asking our children’s permission to post things online? I think from an early age, that is exactly what we should be doing. Or at least asking children how they feel about it. Giving them the choice or perhaps be the adult here and hold back until they are old enough to decide for themselves?

I think when our children are born or when they are tiny, we don’t quite get that they are people. That they are their own self, even from birth. As parents, creating an identity for them online is not our job. It is our job to nurture them and keep them safe. It is our job to help them become responsible, happy and fulfilled adults. Can we be sure that we are doing that when we are not respecting their privacy?

Interestingly the government have been debating this too in a new Data Protection Bill which you can read about
here

I wonder if this new bill will help in protecting a child’s right to online privacy?

If that is the case perhaps you should consider the legalities of posting that photo. It just may land you in court one day when your adult child objects to the photo you innocently shared today. Just a thought.

Perhaps you have never considered this at all. Perhaps you have and still post pictures online because you disagree with me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Old house garden round up: 6 on Saturday 21/10/17

It’s a quick round-up today of 6 things in my garden. Storm Brian is about to hit this afternoon but I took these this morning in the old house garden.

I captured this lovely Red Admiral butterfly that seemed to follow me before settling on the wall.

Tilly loves outside most of the time but likes to follow me when I’m in the garden as she likes a cuddle!

The new rose garden is looking very Autumnal! I still love this new area though. My pumpkins are ready too.

I moved this Hydrangea 3 weeks ago and was worried that it wasn’t happy but it seems to be fine now. Phew! I will trim it back in the Spring.

The recent windy weather has blown the last of the Bramley apples off the tree!

I took this last night as there was a beautiful sunset.

Well there we have it!

My 6 on Saturday.

This started over on the propagator’s blog

Happy Gardening! 🙂

#MyGloriousGardens October Round Up Post. Grab a coffee for a great read!

Here we are and I’m a little late with my round-up post as I’m recovering from flu. Like, proper flu so am wrapped up in bed with my laptop whilst I write this! After a week off work I’m feeling a bit better so thought I’d better get around to the blog!

Anyway…moving along to the October Link Party…..
We had 14 linkers which is not as many as last month but heh? I’m sick right? so I’m ok with that! Thank you to everyone who did link up and comment on the other blogs.I’ve added a few lovely photos too…..love a great photo.

I’ve also gone back to using names if possible as it’s just so much nicer, don’t you think?

Karen

Karen is a regular linker over at thenextbestthingtomummy and linked a lovely post about collecting Autumn treasures with her little charges. As an Early Years teacher myself, I love getting outside with children and showing them the amazing things that nature holds. Thank you Karen. Do check out my Pinterest pages as I have loads of Early Years things that may interest you.

Paul

Hello again to Paul who also linked up last month. This month, Paul takes us to Tredegar House near Newport. I agree with Paul in that visiting gardens is a great way to inspire our own gardening and is one of the reasons I started this linky! I love the way he has gathered his own thoughts about the garden into useful ideas for our own gardens. Thank you so much Paul.

Are you ready for a read of a few lovely blogs??

Sarah

Hello to Sarah; a new linker. What an uplifting post about the bulbs she has in containers in her garden. As she is in Southern Australia it is Spring there so it is so lovely to see her blooms whilst we are preparing for Winter here. The colours and underplanting she uses are truly inspiring. Do check out her wonderful website; I especially love the posts about her own garden. Wonderful.

Jane

Lovely Jane. How are you? Another linker from the Southern Hemisphere…we need your light and flowers here in the UK as it’s so dark today! In Jane’s post she delights us with Hybrid Musk roses and there are so many to choose from. I especially like the sound of ‘Cornelia’. As you know, I’m on the look out for some new roses to plant in the Spring so thank you for these ideas.

Brigid

Brigid has a new camera and in this lovely post,she shares some of her photos with us of her garden in September. Thank you Brigid for being a regular linker. I love seeing how your garden changes over the seasons. Do go and take a look at Brigid’s site. It’s a wonderful place to sit, read and stop a while over a coffee.

Gill

Hello again Gill….lovely to see you linking up. Gill shares a fun post about the mystery of who has been getting in the new orchard….great fun post. Do go over and read for yourself. I wonder if Gill did get to find the culprits!

Here’sa wonderful Autumn canopy shot I took at the beginning of October to keep you interested!

Joshua

A lovely post about how Joshua will be preparing for the Spring this Autumn. He talks about the bulbs he will be planting and I agree with his choices; alliums. I love the showiness of alliums. Thank you Joshua for linking up again this month. I love seeing what you are up to in your garden.

Craig

Any post about food is ok with me! This is a great post by Craig about harvesting blackberries with his gorgeous dog, Mollie for company. Autumn gives us such wonders doesn’t it? I love blackberry picking don’t you? I think it’s just part of our country heritage in a way. I wonder what you made with all those blackberries, Craig? Yum!

Craig also posted about his trip to The Sussex Prairie garden using his RHS membership. I must admit, I haven’t heard of this garden so all the more reason to read this post! This is a must post if you love visiting gardens.

John

Great to see you linking this month, John. Six on Saturday is a great thing to get involved with other fellow garden bloggers. It’s a way of sharing 6 things that are happening in your garden at that moment on a Saturday and was started by The Propagator. It’s a fun thing to be involved in so thank you, John for linking your post.

Ann

Hello to lovely Ann, so glad to see you this month. I love this post about decorating pumpkins. I’m very into looking at flat lays on Instagram at the moment and so using mini pumpkins is key! Getting crafty with pumpkins and other Autumn harvest produce is such a great way to get children involved too. Thank you Ann for linking this.

A gorgeous pumpkin flat lay for you……love these type of shots……

Thomas

Lastly, we have a post by Thomas. Good to see you here again, Thomas. Thomas linked a post about using a Wrist support whilst gardening. It’s true that many of us gardeners do not think about the overuse injuries that may occur when gardening. Thank you for linking Thomas.

Well there we have it! The October Round up post for #MyGloriousGardens.

Finding the lovely in everyday moments.

Lovely.

It’s a word I like and use a lot.

“Lovely,” is defined in the Cambridge dictionary as beautiful, pleasant, enjoyable and kind.

What a lovely word.

Savour lovely moments.

Lovely is what we need to look for in this world and I’ll tell you why. It will make you a happier and more fulfilled person.

1. Savour the Lovely.

Savour each moment that makes you happy. A funny thing your little one did. The kind gesture from a colleague. The text from a partner that make you feel loved. The walk in the woods amongst the trees. Savour these lovely moments however small and seemingly insignificant. Make a point of remembering them. It’s easier to say you’ve had a horrid day when actually there was only one horrid moment. Life is not all happiness. It can’t be but we can savour those lovely moments that make it an overall lovely day.

See the beauty in our everyday surroundings

2. Cherish those lovely people in your life.

This should not be difficult but we sometimes forget that those lovely people in our lives need to be cherished. Those friends and family that have time for you. The ones that ring you when you are sick or meet you for a drink after work. The partner who makes you a cup of tea when you’ve had a hard day. Cherish those people as they are the ones that will make your life more fulfilling. Don’t work extra hard for the boss who doesn’t care about you. Work hard at the relationships that mean the most.

Cherish the people in your life.

3. Find the lovely in you.

Find your inner lovely. When we discover the beauty in the things that we enjoy, we feed our own sense of worth. This brings satisfaction and only then can we be a lovely person. Seeing the positive and savouring it allows us to feel lovely inside. Only then can we share it with others.

4. Share the lovely.

Be kind and kindness will follow. Share the beauty of the world and more eyes will see it. Enjoy the things that are most precious to you and you will share that joy with others. Teach others to be lovely by being lovely yourself.

It’s not always easy but it’s got to be better to see and share the lovely things that are in this world than to only see the negative. I would like to believe this, do you?

Seeing the beauty in things however mundane and ordinary.

Do you agree with me?

What do you find lovely and why?

As always, I’d love to know your thoughts my lovelies…..

#MyGloriousGardens: Stourhead in Autumn.

Stourhead is a National Trust property and garden that we have visited on numerous occasions. As National Trust members we thought we would visit in the Autumn as the trees are looking glorious at the moment. I love that with our family membership, we can explore an area for a day or for a quick dog walk.

 

The view towards The Pantheon is like a work of art.

Stourhead is a national treasure with a famous garden. It has been described as a work of art and I can see why! Visiting in Autumn allows you to see the landscape with all it’s beautiful colours on display. We visited on a rainy day but it was still glorious!

This is the Rock Arch which is fun to explore. It leads up to the Temple of Apollo. 

The Stourhead garden was made by a wealthy English banker, Henry Hoare II who owned the nearby house. The garden was made in the valley behind the house and you can see the influence of his trips to Italy within the garden. The Temple of Flora at Stourhead was made in 1745 and the grotto in 1748. The lake and the Pantheon were made in 1754. It is based on the Pantheon in Rome and the planned walk through the estate is based on the journey of Rome’s legendary founder, Aeneas. The five-arched bridge was made in 1762 and the Temple of Apollo in 1765. Various other features such as the gothic cottage and the Rhododendrons  were added later adding to the wonderful yet unique atmosphere that is Stourhead.

The Pantheon

Inside the Pantheon with it’s statues

 

View from the Pantheon towards the lake.

In October there are various Autumn tours to take and warming refreshments offered in The Gothic Cottage. There are also trails for children to follow. The paths are well laid out and accessible for wheelchairs and buggies a like.

The Gothic Cottage with it’s gorgeous Acers and Maple Trees outside. Inside you can buy warm refreshments.

The Grotto resembles a cave and was built as a summer retreat from the heat. We found this statue of a river God inside as well as a Nymph.

River God statue inside the Grotto

View from the Grotto of the Autumn colours.

The Temple of Apollo in the distance.

We really enjoyed the few hours we spent here. We didn’t visit the house this time but we did grab some lunch in the main restaurant which was excellent. Nearest the gardens is the quaint little pub called ‘The Spread Eagle’ which provided food and picnics to take away. There are toilets, an ice-cream parlour, picnic tables and an Art gallery here too.

The Spread Eagle pub

Stourhead; a national treasure and a lovely walk!

We would recommend visiting Stourhead soon as the trees are looking splendid at the moment. It is a great day out for all the family. Dogs are only allowed after 4pm though.

 

#MyGloriousGardens Westonbirt Arboretum in Autumn.

This weekend we decided to visit Westonbirt Arboretum as the weather was so good and it is the perfect time to go to see the Autumn colours. The Arboretum is 3 miles from the lovely town of Tetbury in Gloucestershire and has over 15,000 trees in it’s 17 miles of pathways through the woodlands. There are 2 main parts to the Arboretum; the old Arboretum which was planted in the 1850’s and Silk Wood which is a semi-natural woodland. Silk Wood welcomes dogs so we took Dottie with us. it costs £10 per adult and £4 for children which we thought was excellent as you could easily stay all day here. There are restaurants, cafes, a shop, toilets and picnic areas plus a playground for children.

Dottie could be off the lead in Silk Wood

The trees were absolutely stunning and many were showing beautiful Autumn colours. It was busy with lots of visitors but we could still find places to walk alone. A map guides you through the best parts and the walks range from 40 minutes to over 3 hours depending on what you want to see.

The treetop walkway allows you look across the tree tops.

Crows nests allow for a better view!

The Treetop walk was great fun and allowed you to see across the Arboretum. There were different maps and trails for children including lift the flap type information along the walkway.

Dogs are welcome in Silk Wood

Dogs are welcome in Silk Wood and there were lots! Dottie had a great time meeting all the different dogs. The paths are well signposted and easily accessible for people in wheelchairs and babies in buggies. There were even lots of children on scooters and bicycles which was lovely as it is quite flat.

I will leave you with lots of photographs but do visit if you get the chance as it is well worth it! They are also planning an Enchanted Christmas show there which is when the Winter woodlands are lit up in the evening and look amazing.

The Autumn light was beautiful; just look at the shadows of the leaves on the tree here.

I love the way the light filters through the needles.

The light hitting the bark on this Maple is stunning.

My favourite place was The Acer Glade with lots of mature specimens.

Acer Palmatum.

The ground looked like it was covered in jewels.

I loved this combination of yellow and red.

Some of the trees were quite mature.

October is the perfect time to visit.

It was a beautiful sunny day -perfect for taking photos!

Views through the Acers.

Autumn Light

Lovely place to visit!

Visit soon as this Autumn display will soon be over.

#PointShoot

 

 

Life lessons for my daughter as she approaches adulthood.

I look at my amazing daughter and cannot believe that she is in her final school year. How did that happen? I know that every parent says this but just when you get used to this parenting thing it feels like it will change forever. She’s almost an adult and that’s wonderful yet scary.

So here are some life lessons for my almost adult daughter.

The Good

• You can do whatever you want with your life. Opportunities are there for you. Walk towards them and take whichever path you choose even if it is a different one to your friends. You make your own choices but just remember your mum’s words of wisdom whispering in your ear from time to time.
• You are amazing. I mean that. I purposely don’t write beautiful as there is more to you than beauty. You are clever, savvy, funny, great fun to be with, calm, know your own mind and beautiful. Your Dad and I love all of you and more. Remember this when other people are not kind to you. You are worthy.
• You have a warm heart so open it and give yourself to someone you love. Love is the most important thing and one day, you will know when your partner comes along. Don’t let them go thinking there is someone better. There may or may not be but all that matters is that you are happy at that moment.
• You will never have as much time as right now. Enjoy your own company and that of your friends to do fun stuff.

The Bad

• Life chances are there for you to grab but they will not fall in your lap. You will not land a job paying you £30,000 straight out of university or school. You must continue to work hard for everything you want in life. What you want is there but may take small steps….just take one at a time.
• Boys can be horrid. They can treat you badly but remember that you are a strong and independent woman who does not need their drama. You are not responsible for other people’s crap. Don’t try to change someone who doesn’t want to be changed.
• Juggling motherhood and work is a challenge. I’m not going to lie. Delay motherhood if possible until you are in a position where you have a choice.

The Ugly

• Childbirth is bloody painful but is the most rewarding thing ever. Just don’t enter into pregnancy until you have lived a little first and don’t listen to Nannie; she will put you off for life.
• Having that last drink at that Club in Ibiza sounds like fun but you will regret it in the morning and perhaps even the morning after that. Have a water instead and walk home with friends (I’m sure you will not do this so my advice….take a paracetamol, eat a fry up and go back to bed).
• Respect your body. You only have one. So no cliff jumping or swimming with sharks in Australia. There will also be a time when your body doesn’t appreciate you eating trash (about aged 25 btw).
• Use sunscreen and you will thank me when you are 40.

Good luck…and remember I will always be your Mummy. x

PS I have never, ever done any of these things in the Ugly section apart from the birth part, obviously……..

Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads.

A Guest Post by Claire Adams

I was approached by a fellow blogger and writer, Claire to see if she could write a post for me. Claire is personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. You can find her online writing and giving tips about lifestyle and development as a regular contributor at highstylife.com.

I am thrilled to introduce Claire’s post for my readers and hope you love it as much as I do!

Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads

We live in the age of the Internet, parenting books, chat rooms, classes, information wells only a few clicks away, but as disturbingly contradictory or simply different as some of it may be, new parents and parents-to-be yearn for knowledge. And it makes sense – your thirst is driven by the desire to be the best parent you could possibly be, without sacrificing your relationships or neglecting your professional development.

However, few things related to parenting are black and white. It’s a beautiful journey, the adventure of being a parent, but it makes for a stressful one on those who decide to embark on it in this day and age. And as such, you could use some real-life advice from moms and dads who’ve been in your shoes and can help you prepare and enjoy as much as possible.

Let go of perfectionism

Whether it’s a messy t-shirt, a room filled with toys, or the fact that you’re wearing a puke-covered hoodie after 36 sleepless hours – you soon realize that the reality of parenting doesn’t even resemble those dreamy ideals. On the contrary, your baby will disrupt your lives beyond recognition, both in marvelous and less marvelous ways.

Your priorities will change, and so will your sleeping schedule, and the notion of what passes for “presentable” will alter. As they grow up, you will also realize that “she will never throw tantrums in public” or “he will never get hooked on watching TV” are also far-fetched, as every child has their own way of perceiving the world. The best thing you can do for your child’s peace of mind, as well as your own, is to abandon any perfectionist notion you’ve had thus far.

Go with Frank

Mr. Frank Sinatra has spoken many a wise word through his music, but one universal truth that affects parents as much as it does every other aspect of your identity would be simply doing things your own way. That doesn’t mean rejecting any piece of advice you hear (solicited or otherwise), but still being able to have your own opinion in the chaos of other parents’ voices.

Every child is different, and while one parent will successfully potty-train their youngster with the help of training-pants, another might prefer to try a reward system. This extends to all behavioral patterns in life, so listening to others can sometimes point you in the right direction, while sharpening your own parenting “gut feeling” is equally important. No parent knows you own child like you do.

Finance wisely

On a more practical, forward-thinking note, parenting could use some financial structure that will ensure your own, as well as your children’s security later in life. While a majority of employers often carry a family friendly health plan that includes various types of insurance, new parents could also think about writing their will, and a college fund that can be re-purposed if needed.

Keeping an eye on your retirement policy and other related plans for the future may seem over the top while you have a baby to care for, but the sooner you reach for the reins, the safer you’ll be if any problems crop up. The same goes for choosing the right guardian for your kids and setting up a contingent trust that allows you a reasonable amount of control over the funds when your kids finally come of age.

Invest ahead

Some kids learn fairly quickly and adapt easily to new environments, both socially and cognitively, while others struggle with different challenges. As parents, we can sometimes be prone to misjudging our kids’ abilities, either perceiving them as flawless, or underestimating their potential. In both scenarios, it may seem impossible to relinquish some of our parental power over to teachers, psychologists and other professionals, but it could be necessary for the sake of their success later in life.

Sometimes that means tackling a speech impediment early on, or ensuring tailored high school tutoring for improving their performance in those subjects that are particularly problematic. Either way, there is no shame in recognizing a problem and handling it with the help of professionals.

Don’t forget you

As soon as you become a parent, your children occupy almost your every thought. At first, this may serve as a mechanism to adapt to your new role as a parent, or anticipate and solve problems along the way. But if you continue neglecting your own needs, and pushing aside your identity, your parenting enthusiasm will also dwindle.

New moms and dads should work on learning to remember their preferences, nurturing their relationship and tending to their needs. As Elizabeth Silk, a New York psychotherapist working with moms put it wisely: “The happier you are, the better parent you will be.”

Guest Post by Claire Adams